Reality Isn't Real. Expectations Are.

I'm away from home more than I like. I prefer driving if my trip is short and time permits. Driving allows additional control over my schedule, I can dictate notes, and it provides a chance to exceed expectations. 

For years, when returning home by car, I've given my wife, Lynne, a bogus arrival time. Usually, I'll say nine if I think I'll be there at eight, midnight if it looks like eleven, etc. And I do the same after a golf game or meeting. 

There's only one reason I do it–to be sure I live up to Lynne's expectations. 

If I say I'm going to be back in town at ten, for example, and return at eleven, I've disappointed her. On the other hand, if I say midnight and return at eleven she's appreciative of my promptness. What changed? I returned at eleven o'clock in both examples. Which situation is better for our relationship? It's obvious. 

When Bush and Gorbachev meet to reduce arms we really don't evaluate their success on the basis of how many missiles they agree to eliminate. We reach our conclusions from how the press plays it versus expectations. They could reduce missiles by 100,000 and we would be disappointed if our expectations were higher. Or they could reduce by 50,000 and we would be ecstatic if we anticipated nothing. Perceptions. Expectations. Not reality. 

Customers rate our performance the same way. If we say we're going to do something, we had better do it. And on time. Many of us overlook this simple opportunity to please others. When you have confidence that there's a deadline or goal you can meet, put it on the record and produce. If you're going to perform the task on time, you should position yourself to get maximum credit for it. 

Several years ago we did all our laundry and cleaning business with the place closest to our home. Time after time they told us our clothes would be ready "tomorrow at three." They were about half the time. 

We weren't happy customers and eventually took our business elsewhere. The new cleaners promised us "tomorrow at four." They never missed. And we were happy customers. 

The first cleaners thought our clothes might be ready by three and committed to it. The smarter cleaners was probably sure they would also have them ready by three, but they told us four, reducing the risk of disappointment. Our perception was that one really had it together, while the other didn't know what they were doing. Probably too harsh, but that was our perception. 

At the core of your customer, professional, and personal relationships is your willingness to make and keep commitments. If you can keep a promise, make one. If not, promise nothing. 

We turn customers off when we take our commitments too casually. We also turn off our employees. In one moment with a loose tongue we can promise something to an employee that will haunt our credibility for years. Again, a promise loosely made is a promise easily forgotten. It takes a toll in many, many businesses. 

Most of the obstacles we face are difficult to solve. This one isn't. If you make a promise to someone, keep it. If you can't, let them know before you default and tell them why. They will understand and give you another chance. 

This is very important. Much of the impression you make on someone depends on how well you deliver on the expectations others have of you. Businesses have both failed and succeeded because of performance vs. expectations. Don't blow it!