Tell Me, Are You Thinking, or Are You Feeling

When I discovered the difference between thinking and feeling, it revolutionized my life. Thinking is a thought. Feeling is an emotion. Knowing whether the person you're communicating with is thinking or feeling makes all the difference in the world to your communicating success. 

A match between someone feeling an emotion against another thinking a thought disables communication. When at least one of the parties recognizes whether the other is thinking thoughts or feeling emotions, they can connect. Both parties must then get on the same frequency to communicate effectively. 

The left brain thinker and the right brain feeler often find themselves at odds because of this basic difference in communica- tion style. Each style has its benefits and weaknesses, depending on the topic. If you've ever tried to make a thinker out of a feeler, or vice versa, you're aware that it's difficult, if not impossible. However, there is a way to bridge the gap. 

The first step is to pause and notice whether the other party is feeling or thinking. Often they'll tell you! They may say, “I think this and so" or "I feel . . . " Quietly understand where they are coming from, then move in their direction and make connection. Become rational and thoughtful or feeling and emotional, depending on the situation. 

The communicator who understands the difference between thinking and feeling and is aware of it during a transaction is a comfortable step ahead in any discussion.